Why This Good Girl Loves Bad Girls

I'm a good girl, I always have been and I don't say that with pride. I interpreted the messaging I received as a young girl, to mean that I should strive for perfection and making myself "likeable". This meant that I didn't want to offend or upset anyone, I thought that to be angry with a family member (and later on, boyfriend) meant I didn't love them and on top of that, I was terrified of saying the wrong thing or having the wrong opinion on a topic. As a result, I held myself perfectly still and made no waves in what was supposed to be a critical stage of learning for me. I missed out on a half-life of experiences and growth trying to be perfect (one guess whether I failed or not). I spent that time instead, repressing my feelings and giving into fear.

I love bad girls because they are the opposite, obviously. And by bad, I don't mean criminal. Throughout those dull teens and twenties, I was always attracted to women who were confident in themselves, spoke up for themselves and others and who didn't diminish themselves to get others to like and accept them. In retrospect, the first "bad gyal" in my life was my sister and though we were like oil and water then, I've since come to recognize that she possessed those traits that I admire in others. She spoke her mind, expressed her feelings (sometimes a bit too harshly) and didn't settle for "no" on the things she really wanted.

It's terrible how often these characteristics in a woman are labeled as bad or difficult.

This isn't to say that there aren't some caveats for me - I like 'em classy, eloquent and with a healthy dose of humility and compassion. As I've gotten older, I really love to see women own and wield their power.

This is also not to say that just because a woman sounds confident that she isn't on the wrong side of an argument but at the end of the day, I love a woman who knows who she is, what she wants, how to get it and is unapologetic about it.

If the traits you dislike in others is what you dislike in yourself, then these traits I love in other women are the ones I want for myself. On another note, if this is what I considered "bad", I have more Freudian anxiety than I first thought 😅.

Are there any behaviours or traits you used to criticise and have since come to admire? I'd love to know more, and sharing is caring inno.

I ehn sorry.