Three Rejection Don’ts

There’s no feeling quite like it. The deflating exit of hope and positivity you held for a potential gig, replaced by the flush and embarrassment of rejection, when you read the words “…we don’t think it’s a good fit.”, “We regret to inform you…”, “we’ll keep you in mind…best of luck!”. At least, that’s what my latest rejection felt like – what I thought was a promising lead, had a quick turnaround into being politely turned down. But even as I felt my body react and my mind start to spiral with negative self-talk, I caught myself in real-time to stop it from ruining my entire day, instead of just the moment in which it happened.

In the spirit of perseverance and self-reflection, I’ve found a way to draw three lessons out this rejection (that can be funneled into content as a bonus!). Here three things you should not do after being rejected for a job.

Internalize

If you’re like me, this is where your head may go first; tell me if any of these sound familiar: “Of course you were rejected”, “You’re not even qualified”, “You’re not good enough”, “Your work is shite!”. That’s internalization folks; the action of accepting or absorbing an idea, opinion, belief, etc., so that it becomes part of your character. This was one hiring officer’s opinion and doesn’t necessarily mean you are an inherently a terrible writer or project manager or editor or whatever. Conversely, maybe your work is currently shite, but it doesn’t mean you are. Every professional starts at level zero and builds from there. 

Extrapolate

A little further down the scale is extrapolation; the action of estimating or concluding something by assuming that existing trends will continue. Meaning, you get rejected for a copywriting gig and take it to mean that you’ll continue to be rejected. You may also take it to mean that you are terrible at everything, and that’s why your life is falling apart, and your sister’s dog hates you and you can’t figure out office politics, etc. It may sound extreme and if it does, let me congratulate you; for some of us, the mind is more treacherous than Marcus Junius Brutus, and it takes a lot of work to get to a place where rejection doesn’t feel linked to your character.

Move on Immediately

You said you don’t ruminate and internalize? Bravo! Be sure to avoid the other extreme; ‘ditch and dismiss’. This may stem from the outlook that nothing matters, not in the grand scheme of things, so we think, “so I didn’t get this thing, it doesn’t matter, capitalism is evil anyway”. Before you toss away the rejection though, consider what you can learn from it. Why were you rejected? Where can you improve? Was the material optimized? Did you misunderstand the culture and tone of the company? Seek and destroy possible weak points that could contribute to future rejections. A rejection may not be a statement on your value as a person but it serves to highlight areas for growth if you let it.

This was going to be “4 Rejection Don’ts” but I figured “(Don’t) Give Up” was implicit. At no point did I claim that you shouldn’t catch feelings over a rejection but don’t get stuck there. Clock it, talk to yourself like a friend and then focus on what the experience can teach you. Let the readers know in the comments, how you deal with rejection.

Signing off, Success!